Therapy Art

When I was a small child, one of my parents frightened and humiliated me by revealing their drug habit on the grounds that they were going to quit. They didn't. They were a terrible parent. The drug habit couldn't have helped.

When I was older and in high school I lost my two closest friends to drugs and drug users. They turned into different people and I haven't really been able to relate to them since. P.S. neither of them were doing particularly well in life last I looked.

Now someone I trusted and liked has been steadily becoming an uglier person, lied to me, and began abusing illegal substances in my own house under the cover of doing something useful and productive with their friends. I had also liked and trusted one of these friends, who was the catalyst for this drug use. I don't think I could even put into words how sad and worried and scared and angry this makes me.

So I made art about it.

It began as a regular piece of paper--one of my older art projects. I beat at it with my fists and tore it with my nails and teeth. I stabbed it. It bled onto my other work which is now permanently altered. I did everything short of screaming at it. I might, yet.

Kids, think critically before doing drugs. This has nothing to do with D.A.R.E and other programs fear mongering and peddling misinformation. This has nothing to do with someone telling you that 'drugs are Bad, mmkay' with a capital 'B' and explaining nothing. This has to do with sense and responsibility.

If you have money problems and/or bitch about money, it is a waste to spend it on drugs. They will make the situation worse.

If you bitch about not having enough time to do things, it is a waste to spend it on drugs. They will make the situation worse.

If you have problems getting things done and being responsible, it is stupid to waste brain power and energy and time on drugs. They will make the situation worse.

If you have someone who is supporting you, letting you live in their house, who buys you things and is helping you get through school and your life, it is wicked and selfish to use THEIR money and THEIR effort and THEIR love on drugs for the above reasons.

If you are hurt about someone making your family upset and in turn upset your family by doing drugs (Or ANY harmful activity), you are a hypocritical asshole.

I won't even touch how crazy selfish it is for a parent to do these things.

If you are afraid to take medical chemicals designed to correct brain imbalances, you are a hypocrite and an idiot to take brain-altering chemicals of a dubious origin.

If you have problems that make you upset and feel hopeless, drugs are not going to solve that. Doing drugs to fix or soothe or forget life issues is like putting a topical anesthetic on a gangrenous toe. You're not fucking fixing anything and every second your back is turned it gets worse.

There are better, safer, cheaper ways to find friends or happiness or creativity or yourself or God or whatever the hell you're looking for.

I know what it's like to suffer and feel hopeless and helpless and anxious. Hell, I feel it right now. I've experienced abuse, neglect, homelessness, poverty, loneliness, depression. But I still have better things to do. There are too many things to taste and experience in this life to justify trading those experiences at such a young age and when the state of the world and my own life is not stable.

Mind altering chemicals are not necessarily a Bad Thing, end of story. I could even conceive of situations, after a LOT of research and thought, in the right environment, that I might try something (it would more than likely be anthropologically related). I am not against all drugs everywhere and in every situation, illegal or not. But I am against them when it involves being dishonest and hurting other people, wasting resources and bitching about it particularly when one doesn't have a lot to go around, trying to dig oneself out of a hole by digging deeper into it and fucking up on responsibilities every adult human being needs to take care of. This goes for legal, common, 'acceptable' addictions as well.

I spent time exploring myself and making art. I now have art accomplished and feel better for it. It was actually one of my most liberating and satisfying art experiences. Now I'm going to get back to regular work so I can better my life. It's not much of one but it's all I've got and I am going to take care of it.